Read Related: Facing My Infertility Part 10: The Collection RoomSo, all we knew was that our donor was 24, tall, slim, with brown hair and green eyes, and that she was a “proven” donor, meaning she’d either already given birth herself or that she’d donated eggs that resulted in a successful pregnancy.
Shortly after we returned from our trip to Vistahermosa clinic in Spain, Salomé emailed to let us know that they’d found a compatible egg donor. It was frightening and exhilarating news all at the same time. We were really doing this…and there was a very real possibility that we’d be pregnant before the year was out. In Spain, as in many European countries, egg donation is completely anonymous. We never leafed through pictures and bios of prospective donors, as some U.S. clinics permit couples to do. We would never know more about our donor than her age and her hair and eye color. The only other information the clinic will provide is the standard fare—she’s slim, with normal BMI, tall if we want tall, or short for those who want short. If couples have a long list of criteria—I heard of one woman who wanted a donor with at least a Master’s degree, and who played a minimum of two classical instruments at the professional level(!)—the clinic will do its best to get a match, but still never release more details. While all donors are screened for genetic anomalies, the only way we’d ever be able to make contact with our donor—and it would still be with the clinic as go-between—was if our son or daughter had a very serious health problem which required more information or possible organ donation from the donor.