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Softness or Firmness • The firmness or softness of your mattress is a matter of individual taste, which is why it’s often difficult for couples to agree on a mattress. Many consider an ultra-firm mattress as the solution to their lower back pain. But a too-firm mattress won’t conform enough to your body’s contours, and may even leave your lower back unsupported, while pressure points such as hips and shoulders start to hurt.