“When I suspect criticism may be coming my way,” writes Halvorson, “I take a moment to reflect on something I really like about myself.”
The question of whether you actually like yourself is a deep one that only you can deal with. But if you fundamentally do not like yourself, chances are good that you will continue to be defensive. Secure people can handle others’ negative opinions better, period.
This article is amazing. Thank you so much! I’ve had a lot of trouble with this of late and it’s affected both my work and my relationship. It’s a relief to realise that defensiveness is a common issue for all of us and also, by reading your article, to finally be able to identify why it’s become such a huge issue for me. I realise this is an old article but hopefully you still read these comments and can pass my message on to Alisa. I am sincerely grateful for her shared wisdom.
Eloquent and informative. Thank you so much!